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Don’t worry, children! Nana is back with guidance for all your problems and worries. And if that doesn’t help, there’s always liquor.

On to the questions!

My boyfriend skipped Valentine’s Day altogether. He thinks it’s a made-up holiday designed to sell people things, which might be true, but is it so wrong to expect him to show some sign of love on a holiday dedicated to showing signs of love? I feel resentful.

well darling, first i must ask, does he show “signs of love” the rest of the year? is it chocolates and flowers that makes you feel loved? i mean really, there are so many reasons to feel resentful  in this life, don’t let this one be one of them. now if he doesn’t give you the chocolates and flowers that you love on your birthday, then i would worry and look elsewhere for love!

if valentine day is that important to you and not to him, cover yourself  in chocolate and makehim eat it all off… pooff, no more resentment!
I am in a new relationship with someone who was initially more into kink than I was. I am admittedly vanilla. As we’ve been trying more things (bondage, ropes, spanking etc) it’s becoming more obvious that I am REALLY into kink—there are somethings I’d like to try, but I don’t think she’d be into. Advice?

mmmm, admittedly vanilla… really? already tried bondage, spanking, ropes…. i want to know what the “etc” were.

darling, though i would love to radicalize vanilla, you probably never were, “vanilla.” i’d say you were at least neopolitan.  just enjoy all the kinky sex you are having in your new relationship, and please darlings, be safe, it’s all fun and games until someone loses something somewhere dangerous, or loses an eye. and by the way, you might be underestimating your new mate, why would they not want to do some other new things with you, to you? everything tells me you will be pleasantly surprised! ENJOY!

I am one of those unfortunate people who moved across the country for their significant other. Now that we’ve broken up I feel like crap because all of our friends were mutual (as in his). Should I give up my job/flat etc and just move home?

oh sweet soul, shit happens as they say in english… firstly i am sorry and hope that you do what is best for your emotional and
physical health. however, what we do in these situations can go a long way in this life. we can either make lemonades out of lemons, or make everyone’s (especially our own) lives as complicated and painful as possible.

so, how crucial is your job to your future and present? is your flat a rental? is the breakup is final? depending on your answers, you might want to try a third place, not home, not across the country, but a third place where you can make your own friends and break old patterns instead of hearts.

you will be happy again, choose wisely, this will change your life forever! good luck darling.

I just started dating a girl who I really like. About a week ago I met some of her best friends for the first time, and one of them is a girl I had previously had really hot, no-strings-attached sex with . It was awkward because we pretended not to know each other, rather than explain our connection. Now what? Do I admit that we do in fact know each other, and tell my girlfriend how? Or do I keep silent and hope the other girl does too?

that’s a good one. it is interesting that you both pretended not to know eachother… mmm… why  the mystery unless you are afraid of something or someone’s reaction. fear is never a good thing in my book, unless it enhances your present sex life with your girlfriend. if your sex life and relationship is respectful and realistic, you will already know what tramps you’ve been in your pasts and move on!

i would say tell your girlfriend about the hot sex you had with one of her friends, before someone else does… because one thing about women sweetheart, WE TALK, and that can be more dangerous and complicating then not telling. of course, then have the hottest, strings-and-ropes-attached sex with her… good luck!

Send your questions to Nana at asknana@sadmag.ca!

Carmen Mathes is a writer, artist, and UBC PhD candidate who took time out of her busy schedule to chat with Sad Mag about her contributions to the upcoming Issue 9, plagerizing Jack London, and the best gymnastics video on YouTube. Read on!

Sad Mag: Who are you?
Carmen Mathes:
I am an academic and a romantic, who is spending the next six months in the South of Germany reading poetry.

 

SM: What are you writing for Issue 9?
CM: I’m interviewing two twins who, having grown up together and then settled at opposite ends of the country (Vancouver and Montreal), are both breaking into the Canadian fashion scene. Although they are going about “making it” in extremely different ways, both possess panache, style and sophisticated cosmopolitanism.

SM: What is the first piece of writing you were proud of?
CM: I wrote a short story in grade three that was a rip-off of Jack London’s White Fang. The teacher read it aloud to the class and my cheeks were definitely flushed with pride the whole time.

 

SM: Favourite Vancouver authors?
CM: Gillian Wigmore (although she’s based in Prince George) and Rachel Rose are two of my favourite Vancouver poets. I brought Gillian’s collection Soft Geography with me to Germany, and it’s currently living bedside.

 

SM: Favourite place in Vancouver to read and write?
CM: Upstairs at Trilussa pizzeria on Main Street. Go say hi to Alessandro and he’ll make you a breakfast pizza with nutella, strawberries and parmigiano-reggiano.

 

SM: Best bookstore?
CM: The miniature Pulp Fiction on West Broadway

 

SM: Current favourite YouTube video?
CM: This 1979 recording of Russian gymnast Natalia Shaposhnikova’s bar routine, which I found on the wonderful Rick McCharles’s website GymnasticsCoaching.com.

 

SM: Favourite annual Vancouver event?
CM: Eastside Culture Crawl!

 

SM: Where are you as you answer these questions?
CM: Die Vogelhaus Café und Kaufhaus. I’m sitting on a cushion in a little space between the regular tables and the window. I’m at street level, looking out onto the Münzgasse in die Altstadt of Konstanz.

 

SM: Last album you listened to?
CM: “The Goat Rodeo Sessions” from Yo Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris Thile.

 

SM: What are you most excited about right now?
CM: This new word I’ve just learned—Möglichkeit—which means “possibility” in German. That is how my life currently feels: filled with possibilities.

To help support Issue 9, come to our St Patrick’s Day fundraiser GINGA NINJAS at the Cobalt!

Everyone loves gingers! We love them so much we fear that they are going extinct, even though that is a baseless rumour. Fortunately, there are plenty of redheads in Vancouver, and they are all coming to Ginga Ninjas!!

Ginga Ninjas is first and foremost a celebration of  gingers, featuring the Greff Band, the Isotopes (with redheaded guests!), and the Dead Voices. It’s also a celebration of ninjas, who are also cool. Come for the music, stay for the ninja photobooth by Christine McAvoy and St Patrick’s Day shenanigans!

Details:

GINGA NINJAS
St Patrick’s Day!
17 March 2012
The Cobalt (917 Main)
Doors at 8PM, Show at 9PM
$8 at the door (gingers get in free!)

RSVP on Facebook

Project Runway is great and all, but wouldn’t you like the chance to see a crazy fashion competition and subsequent fashion show live? Of course you would, you’re not a soulless robot! Costumes, cocktails and a merciless panel of judges are three of the finest pleasures in life, and you can have them all on March 9th at Walt Street Fashion Design Competition.

The Art Institute of Vancouver is hosting this no-sew design competition and fashion show. According to the press release, Walt Street is a “fusion of classic Disney characters with icons of popular culture,” including a tantalizing-sounding Lady Gaga/WALL-E combination.

Key words in the press release included: homemade glue paste; cat suits; polka dots; capes; and blue hair. Sounds like the most amazing fashion show ever to us.

Friday, March 9th
Vinyl Retro Lounge (455 Abbott)
Doors @ 8PM, Show @ 9PM
Tickets $10**
More info on Facebook

**available at the door or in front of the AIV Art Gallery from 12:30PM to 1:30, March 2nd-8th

Rachel Aberle and Adrian Glynn McMorran, by David Cooper

In 1974, Leonard Cohen was asked why his album New Skin for the Old Ceremony was a failure in North America and the U.K. but a success in Europe. “Maybe it’s because they can’t understand my lyrics,” he replied. Both Cohen’s self-deprecating wit and the achingly sad poetry of his lyrics are on display in Tracy Power’s play Chelsea Hotel, which is at Firehall Arts Centre (280 E. Cordova St) until March 3. Chelsea Hotel adds inventive dance pieces and impressionistic storytelling to Leonard Cohen’s classic songs, often totally revamping their musical arrangements so fresh associations are created. The young cast scampers around a set made of paper filled with discarded poetry drafts, while adeptly switching off on an astounding variety of instruments. Adrian Glynn McMorran stars as the Writer, who acts out romantic regret and creative struggle and sings beautifully. His solo turn, a wrenching rendition of Tonight Will Be Fine, is a show highlight.

Theatregoers familiar with Cohen’s work will hear new and often faster paced versions of his songs, such as a sexy cabaret-infused I’m Your Man and an ironic hard-rocking take on American Idol favorite Hallelujah. The cast’s voices are very, well, different from Cohen’s self-admitted limited range. Neophytes to Cohen will find Chelsea Hotel an excellent introduction to Canada’s unofficial Poet Laureate. And any audience should relish the opportunity to appreciate the depth and beauty of Cohen’s catalogue.

Rachel Aberle is a cast standout, playing a Sister of Mercy – a combination nun, nurse, and muse – with playfulness and intelligence. Sadmag spoke to Rachel Aberle about Leonard Cohen’s current caché, wanting to be a muse, and the state of the theater scene in Vancouver.

Sad Mag: How familiar were you with Cohen’s work before you started Chelsea Hotel? how did your relationship to his work evolve as you were doing the play?

Rachel Aberle: To be honest, I wasn’t super familiar with Cohen prior to this summer when I started to do some research for the auditions. I was familiar with Hallelujah, as I guess pretty much everyone in North America is – but to be honest, the version I was familiar with first was the Jeff Buckley version – which I loved. I remember when I finally heard a recording of Cohen singing Hallelujah thinking, “This is awful! This guy can’t sing!” This was several years ago, in my late teens. The cast is all within about 10 years of each other in age, and we all talked about how Cohen’s voice was something that put us off when we were younger, that it’s something we’ve grown to appreciate as we’ve grown into adulthood. Can’t remember who, but one of the cast said at a talk-back that “Cohen’s not for kids,” and I think there’s something to that.

Through working on the show I’ve come to appreciate him so much, not only in terms of music, but in terms of incredible poetry. I’ve always been a pretty lyrics driven listener, and for that you can’t get much better than Cohen. He was a poet before he was a songwriter, and it shows.

SM: Yeah, i think that’s one of the great things in the show. You can appreciate the lyrics as a captive audience

?RA: that’s great to hear. It’s been a really interesting process to connect such poetic language to some kind of playable acting

SM: Were there any Leonard Cohen songs that you wish had been used in the play, or that you rehearsed and didn’t use?

RA: Those decisions were made before I came on board. We did change and add some of the poetry used in the piece – just certain pieces getting moved around or shortened or changed to other things that Tracey felt told the story and got the audience on board faster and more effectively than what she had originally chosen. Because my knowledge of Cohen was admittedly pretty low before the show, and because we use so many songs (27 to be precise) there aren’t any that I wish were there that aren’t.

SM: Were the writer’s lines in between songs also snippets of cohen poetry?

RA: Yes. Every word spoken or sung in the show comes from Cohen.

?SM: OK, a couple more Cohen questions…Do you have a favorite song? Or a favorite line from his lyrics?

RA: I love Tonight Will Be Fine. I think the chorus speaks to something so profound and so honest about feelings that linger long after one might hope they would. More specifically the line “We swore to each other our love would surely last/You went right on loving, and I went on a fast/Now I am too thin and your love is too vast.” I feel like I’ve been on both ends of that statement – probably everyone has at some point. That feeling of regret, wishing you could feel things that you don’t, or that feelings you have could be matched, when they can’t.

I also think that Famous Blue Raincoat is one of the most beautifully heartbreaking songs I’ve ever heard. I’ve never listened to a song that made me sad so repeatedly.

SM: What do you think Leonard Cohen means to Canadians of your generation? How is it different from how he’s viewed by baby boomers?

?RA: To be honest, I don’t think Leonard Cohen means much to most of our generation, and I hope that changes. I wonder partly if it’s because so much of his music has been so widely covered by other artists, but I know for many people our age that I’ve talked to about this show, the most common response has been that they’re not that familiar with Leonard Cohen — which, prior to the show, was pretty much the case for me as well. I think a lot of people my age think of Cohen as someone that their parents listen to, that they weren’t that into when they were kids.

Hopefully it’s like a lot of music that’s just too mature for younger audiences, and people start to give it a listen now that they’re old enough to understand what the hell he’s talking about. I feel like it’s the kind of music people in their twenties should be listening to all the time. One of my friend’s fathers saw the show and said afterwards that he was tearing up through most of the first act because it brought back so many memories from his twenties. He said you don’t feel those incredible highs and lows forever. I think that’s probably what it means to a lot of people my parents’ age – it’s a reminder of the later years of their youth. His lyrics capture so perfectly what incredible love and incredible loss mean, but at a deeper level that anything you feel at adolescence. The love is vast because you’re old enough to feel like it actually means something real, and the loss is devastating, because it feels like a much deeper investment that’s come up dry.

SM: What instruments can you play? Did you have to learn any for the show?

?RA: Oh the instruments…

I played the cello regularly for about 11 years, but those years were between age 4 and 15… so a bit of it’s in the “riding a bike” camp, in that I learned so young that some of that knowledge will never go way, but I also had been out of practice for so long until about this time last year that my musicianship is definitely still a work in progress in my opinion.

I started playing the ukulele this summer for the fun of it. I played the piano in high school, and actually got to a pretty high level, but have been out of practice so long that it’s really crumbled back into a pretty rudimentary skill

And the bass guitar, which I play in the show – I had never touched until our workshops for the show in early December. Our first day of rehearsal Steve said, “Rachel, how do you feel about playing bass on [First We Take] Manhattan?” I said, “Well, I’m willing to try, but just so we’re all on the same page here, I’ve literally never even tried before.” Steve paused for a second and then said, “Oh yeah. I think you’ll be fine.” I leave that to the audience to judge. The more work I get in theatre, the more I’m starting to feel like half of the battle is deciding what you’re crazy enough to agree to try, and then dealing with the fallout of that agreement.

SM: Have you done much musical theatre before?

?RA: I’ve done a bit. I was one of those kids in high school that was really into musical theatre, and then I sort of drifted away from it when I went to university, and then to theatre school. I’d pretty much stopped thinking of myself as a musical theatre performer. Then in the last year all the shows I’ve wound up doing, while they haven’t all been full musicals, they have been full of music, and have required me to sing.

SM: What was it like growing up immersed in the theatre world? Did you always know you wanted to be an actor, or did you ever have phases of rebelling and wanting to go into business or something bourgeois like that?

RA: I had bouts of thinking that maybe I wanted to be a writer, and for a time even a lawyer – I don’t think they came from a place of rebellion however (and you couldn’t really call becoming a writer bourgeois). Growing up with a Dad who was in theatre taught me from a young age that it was a possibility – that the idea of trying to pursue a career in theatre (while maybe still insane) wasn’t impossible. People did it. Having that knowledge meant that I never went through the phase of thinking “Well, yeah, I want to be an actor, but nobody actually does that… so what am I going to do for real?”

?SM: And I bet a lot of your peers did go through that phase, right?

RA: Yeah – I mean when I think of the people I went to high school with who I did theatre with, I don’t think many of them are doing it any more. And to be fair, for some of them it was never something that they wanted to pursue after high school – but I do wonder how many more young people might consider going into theatre, or music, or any artistic field for that matter, if it dawned on them that it was a viable option.

SM: How do you feel about the current state of the theatre scene in Vancouver?

?RA: That is a tough question to answer. I guess what I would say is that I know for sure that I’ve been incredibly lucky with the opportunities that I’ve had, not only because opportunities are scant (and that’s true of theatre anywhere), but also because the projects I’ve gotten to work on have all been very fulfilling, and very different from each other, and have all involved incredible people. Of course I wish there was more funding – that should go without saying but unfortunately we need to keep saying it, and keep saying it, and then say it some more. And I wish I could figure out what would get the average Vancouverite more interested in seeing plays.

There is so much to do in this city. I get why on a sunny day people want to go to third beach, and I get why on a rainy day people are more interested in going up on a mountain where it’s snowing and riding boards and skis back down the mountain. What I wish for is a way to make people who are interested in those things also interested in sitting down and watching some fantastic storytelling. I would like to figure out a way to build the theatre into the recreational vocabulary of this city … I’m just not sure how.

SM: In Chelsea Hotel you play a muse. Have you ever been a muse? Or had a muse?

RA: (laughs) If I’ve ever been a muse, nobody told me. In terms of having a muse, I’ve definitely wrote some things based on or about people that have come in and out of my life – and I’ve definitely used relationships I’ve had with people as a way to connect with material I’ve worked on as an actor.

SM: Is it strange singing the same songs over and over again? Do you start making up your own versions of the songs?

?RA: It hasn’t seemed strange yet, and I think part of that is that the material is so rich that there are a lot of new things to find every day. I have an unfortunate habit of replacing words with other words completely subconsciously, and have definitely sang the words, “Suppose that he froze when the wind took his NOSE,” instead of, “CLOTHES” a few times in rehearsal, and once while rehearsing Take this Waltz I sang “I’ll bury my soul in a sandwich” rather than “bury my soul in a scrapbook.” But intentionally? No, I’m happy with the material so far

SM: (laughs) Sandwich!

RA: I know, I always think that if those were the lyrics it would mean that she dealt with the break up by eating her feelings.

?SM: It’s a good Freudian slip, something to sing when you are hungry.

?RA: Right?

SM: Right!

Chelsea Hotel
Firehall Arts Centre (280 East Cordova)
Now until March 3rd, 2012
$25 regular, $20 students and seniors
Ticket info here

Ryeberg Curated Video is a Toronto event featuring writers discussing their favourite YouTube videos. In March, its first show ever is happening outside of Toronto– right here in Vancouver!

The line-up is great, with featured writers and web curators Charlie Demers (author of Vancouver Special); Miriam Towes (author of A Complicated Kindness); Michael Turner (author of Hard Core Logo); Stephen Osborne (publisher of Geist Magazine)

Don’t miss it!

Ryeberg Live Vancouver
The Waldorf (1489 E Hastings)
March 6th, 2012
Doors at 7PM, show at 8PM
$12 in advance, $10 at the door (includes a copy of Geist)
Full details at Ryeberg.com

On Monday night, Vancouver’s swaggering funk-rap group Panther and the Supafly will be playing live instrumental versions of hip-hop classics while karaoke hopefuls get live on the mic. If you’ve never been to Fortune Sound Club’s Hip-Hop Karaoke, widely considered to be Vancouver’s best Monday night out, this is an excellent opportunity to check it out. And if you’re already a Hip-Hop Karaoke fan, you shouldn’t miss the chance to see the night go unplugged like Jay-Z and the Roots on MTV. Panther and the Supafly will also be rocking tracks from their debut EP “Nikazi.”

Sad Mag’s exploration of the complex motivations of Hip-Hop Karaoke performers continues here:

Tim Mortensen

Shmuel Marmostein: What got you into Hip-Hop Karaoke?

Tim Mortensen: I was at a Nice ‘n Smooth show here wearing a Gang Starr t-shirt, and they pulled me on stage.It was right after Guru died and they were pouring out orange juice on stage, it was crazy! A friend of mine who knew about HHK saw that and suggested we perform DWYCK, the song Nice n’ Smooth were doing.

SM: What was your favorite song that you performed?

TM: Halftime by Nas, on Halloween. It was one of the hardest songs I’ve ever done. It was fun because I was dressed as b-boy priest in gold chains.

SM: What about by another performer?

TM: A Busta Rhymes song by local MC Kaboom Atomic, he did it perfectly.

SM: That’s hard! How much do you usually practice?

TM: It depends on the song. For some of them I’ve already liked the song for a while, so it’s easier. I usually practice the song 15-20 times. I always rap over the vocal, and then I switch to the instrumental, which is a lot harder! For the Nas one, I did it 30 times or more.

SM: What do you love about performing here?

TM: The good vibe, and the fun I always have at the night itself. It’s a privilege to perform. You do it once or twice and you get addicted. It’s great experience if you want to be a performer because you have the spotlight on you. And I love hip-hop, so I get to do what I love.

Chad Iverson, event organizer and co-founder

Shmuel Marmostein: What made you start the Hip-Hop Karaoke night?

Chad Iverson: Paul [Gibson-Tigh, the other founder and organizer] told me about the HHK night in Toronto, and said we should do it here. It was just a drunken conversation on Third Beach, and I though hhk sounded like the illest idea.

SM: What was your favorite song that you performed?

CI: Earl by Earl Sweatshirt, or the one I just did, Tried by 12 by East Flatbush Project. I love that song and I’ve been wanting to do it forever. It’s an underground classic.

SM: It was awesome, you killed it! What about by someone else?

CI: That’s a really hard question…maybe Kyprios doing Passin’ me by at the one-year anniversary show?

SM: How much do you usually practice before performing?

CI: Way too much. If you take a look at my lastfm site, all my top songs listened to are ones I’ve performed!

SM: What do you love about performing here?

CI: The ego boost. It feels good! It’s a rush being on stage. I’m also paying homage to a genre of music and a culture I love. I never thought I would be running a hip hop night in Vancouver, that’s for sure.

SM: How has putting on this night changed your life?

CI: Well, this night has made Fortune a second home. I do promotion here and I’ve learned a lot about, I don’t want to use the term, the “clubbing scene.” It’s a potential career changer. The changes have all been positive, definitely.

Hip-Hop Karaoke: Panther and the Supafly

Fortune Sound Club (147 E Pender St)

$4 cover before 10:30PM, $8 after

Full details on Facebook

Emmett Hall is something of a comedy overachiever. He is one half of heavy metal band Knights of the Night, performs with the Sunday Service and is featured on their monthly podcast (A Beautiful Podcast), and still finds time to hang out with Sad Mag when he’s not illustrating My Little Pony. You’ve probably seen him all over town, but tomorrow night you can see him on the magnificent Cobalt stage. Read on!

Jeff Lawrence: Tell me a bit about yourself and what you do when you’re not being funny. Or are you always funny?

Emmett Hall: I am a British Columbian by birth who’s been working in the animation industry for about 8 years. Currently storyboarding on My Little Pony. My face is crooked, so I am always funny.

JL: I heard you are in a band called “Knights of the Night” where you play metal dressed as actual knights. Discuss.

EH: Comedian Ken Lawson and I realized we had a mutual love for heavy metal. Ken’s an extremely accomplished guitar player and I can fake my way through the bass and sing. We figured we could convince people to watch us play metal so long as we mince about in a jocular fashion. It’s tricky because we want to stay true to the glory of the music itself, but never stop taking the piss out the bombastic chivalrous personae blasting it out.  Our armour consists of long -johns and altered dresses.

JL: What do you like about doing comedy?

EH: I like that I can invent contexts that are completely unacceptable and incoherent in any other form of expression.  Comedy is also a very entertaining way exercise/exorcise my personal confusion and ego.
And most importantly, in the end times…when there’s nothing left, there will still be something funny.

JL: What do you dislike about it?

EH: The lack of satisfaction in performing, I guess. When people laugh at something I do, then I settle on the objective that that was merely the intended response. Generally nothing more. When I bomb, the weight of the all the work and effort I put in topples down in the wake of humiliation I subjected myself to.
How dramatic! Nontended response [sic]!

JL: What kind of humour do you find the funniest?

EH: Mine. Done properly. So not by me.

JL: On a scale of 1-10, where do you place your feelings on Valentine’s Day and why?

EH: I’d give it a 2 because Valentine’s Day is so important.

Sad Mag Comedy Show: Valentine Edition

February 9th

The Cobalt (917 Main Street)

Doors at 8:00PM, Show at 9:00PM

$10 cover, includes a 1-year Sad Mag subscription and dance party admission

RSVP on Facebook

We could not be more delighted that Sad Comedy: Valentine Edition will be hosted by the lovely Caitlin Howden. Originally from Montreal and trained in theatre at Ryerson in Toronto, she has a very long list of awards for being funny and also has a pretty amazing worst-show story. Read on!

Sad Mag: Who is Caitlin Howden?

Caitlin Howden: “OH, that’s me.” I emerge from the back of the room looking guilty and afraid.

“Why? What happened? What did I do?” I put away my cell phone, which I was using for one of my many fake phone calls I have to look less awkward in my own body. “Did I block anyone in? You’re not going to make me to a handstand, are you?”

SM: How did you end up in Vancouver? / What do you miss about Montreal?

CH: I spent 9 years in Toronto and I fell in love with it. I a very proud Montreal native, because it makes me feel just a bit cooler. I go back to both cities quite often. But I had never been to Vancouver. Everyone was talking about how booming the film and TV scene was out here. In Toronto, there are commercials and Canadian TV a-plenty, so I thought I would try my hand out here. Turns out as soon as I moved out here things just dried up. The US started offering the same tax credits that made Vancouver so alluring to US work. So here I am! Ah, but don’t feel so bad for me. Come on, stop crying. There is a happy ending, I have also fallen in love with Vancouver. I love my Canadian cities like I love my men; hard to reach and in threes. (improv joke)

SM: What was your first stage performance?

CH: I played Auntie Em in the Wizard of Oz in grade 3. I thought I was playing Dorothy, because that was what my brain heard. Then we showed up for first day of rehearsal and I cried.

SM: What do you like about doing comedy?

CM: We make people laugh. And laughter is good for you. And it’s what I’m good at. Some people are good at having stability, going for regular check ups, paying their taxes, or sleeping at night without full on panic attacks.  It takes all kinds, right?

SM: What do you dislike about it?

CH: Please refer to what other people are good at in previous question.

SM: What was the worst show you’ve ever done?

CH: Probably the one where I fell off the stage while wearing a dress into a table holding three margaritas, a pitcher of beer, and a group of grown people who made a face I’ll never forget. They reacted to me the same way I would react to an open-mouthed shark falling on my face.

I had to do the rest of the 2 hour show with bloody knees, smelling of beer, and the lady-hose I was wearing to conceal my “less than a man, more than I’d like” leg hair was so torn up I went bare-legged and fancy-free. I could hear people in the front row whisper “Oh no, the blood is getting caught in her leg hair”. That was a shit night.

SM: Where do you get your inspirations?

CH: I like to stand naked in front of the mirror a lot. It’s usually my milky white skin that does the trick regarding inspiration.

SM: What do you like best: theatre, improv or standup?

CH: Well, Theatre is reaaaallllllly cute, and Improv did the funniest thing last night. Stand Up and I had a one-night stand back in 2003, so… I like them all, but Improv is the one paying my bills right now… .IMPROV! I CHOOSE IMPROV!

SM: What is the funniest thing you have ever seen?

CH: In this order:

See Caitlin this Thursday at the Cobalt! $10 gets you a one-year subscription, the finest comedy in Vancouver, and an all-night dance party.

Sad Com­edy: Valen­tine Edition

The Cobalt (917 Main St)

Thurs­day, Feb­ru­ary 9th, 2012

Doors at 8:00PM, show at 9:00PM

Cover $10 (includes subscription)

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What would make a person want to perform hip hop karaoke?

Fortune Sound Club’s monthly Hip-Hop Karaoke night sells itself as the best time you can have on a Monday night anywhere in Vancouver. DJ Flipout hosts with a mix of soccer-coach positivity and sharp banter, and DJ Seko plays booming instrumentals on a full sound system. The crowd is loud and focused on the performers, and enjoys dancing, waving hands in the air, and yelling. The stage has been blessed with “rappin’ ass rappers” (Flipout’s term for professional rappers) such as Jaykin, Kyprios, and the Rascalz paying tribute to the songs that inspired them to pick up the mic. But it’s equally welcoming to amateurs, shy girls who bust out eerily accurate Li’l Wayne or Nicki Minaj impressions or nerdy dudes transforming themselves into gangsta rap superstars.

Yet there’s still an intimidation factor. Unlike regular karaoke nights, Hip-Hop Karaoke has no tinned canny instrumentals. There’s no video screen showing incongruous men in suits running on a beach at sunset. Most importantly, there are no lyrics with a bouncing ball for performers to read. Performers need to memorize rap songs (which tend to have a lot of words, spoken fast) well enough to spit fire in front of hundreds of people. The crowd is patient with mistakes, but screwing up can still be pretty embarrassing. I asked four regular performers why they loved Hip-Hop Karaoke.

Diana Theodora Christou

SM: How did you first hear about hip hop karaoke?

DTC: I saw a poster on a telephone pole and felt like the sky opened up and my destiny was calling to me!

SM: What was your favorite song that you performed?

DTC: Das EFX – They want EFX. It’s a really fun and tricky song, and I love how they rap.

SM: What about by another performer?

DTC: That’s a hard question, there’s been so many. But there was an Asian girl doing (sings) Whatta Man Whatta Man whatta mighty mighty good man!

SM: How often do you practice a song before going on stage?

DTC: I usually listen to it every day for the two weeks before Hip-Hop Karaoke. I play it over and over again on the way to work.

SM: What do you love about performing here?

DTC: It’s a big release, and it makes me feel good about myself.

SM: Do you do any other live performing?

DTC: No, but even when I was four I loved to dance around and entertain my family. This is a great way to express that side of myself.

Lawrence Lua

SM: What was your favorite song that you performed?

LL: Breathe by Fabulous, because it’s the one I screwed up the least!

SM: How did you get into Hip-Hop Karaoke?

LL: I came here for a few shows and then started to rap. I love rap and I love performing, it’s fucking cool! Before doing it, I wondered how it would be, to go through the stage fright and the whole experience.

SM: How long do you practice for?

LL: A week or so. I usually cram the night before.

SM: What do you love about performing here?

LL: The people. The vibe.

Next Friday: Part 2, interviews with two more veterans and a preview of the Feb 13th show!
For more on Hip-Hop Karaoke, visit their Facebook Page.